just mrs jess

Sometimes I feel like my feelings are like a roll of toilet paper. . . They're necessary, but not comfortable; useful at specified times of need; expensive; helpful in some situations, but in others, make more of a smeared mess out of things. And it seems like when I DON'T need the toilet paper, it always comes bounding my direction, unraveling and leaving a mess to clean up. But then, when I am in the most dire of circumstances, when I most NEED the toilet paper/emotion, all I have is a dry tube of cardboard. Awesome. Just what I always wanted. Hah. I know, I'm dripping with sarcasm. I'm just so frustrated right now. Some days are just so overwhelming. I try to find the balance between my feelings and reality, but sometimes there's not even a scale that I can use to weigh everything. And even if there were a scale, I'd max it out for sure. Feelings are so contradictory and so exhausting. Yet, I honestly can't imagine life without them. Strange. Such a paradox.