there are days that i am so preoccupied with myself and the things of this world that i forget my purpose, my passion, and my pursuit. let's be real: those days are more often than not. i frequently get bogged down with my checklist at work, that i so easily (or not so easily on some days, depending on the tasks given) breeze through and then document on my timesheet. i get caught up in "doing" ministry and i forget why i do it. and what i'm doing, for that matter.
today's a day that i'm heavy though. i'm heavy with the weight of the world. the realization that i carry the hope of the world in my heart, that is sinking in thickly today. i believe it was probably prompted by a compelling group discussion i participated in yesterday evening. nevertheless, i'm glad to be heavy. it's been a while since i've wrestled with things outside of my own concern. how selfish am i? disgusting.
anyway, today is just one of those days that i don't feel like being productive in the sense that the world requires. i want to be productive for the kingdom and nothing else. i want to just sit and share with someone who doesn't know Truth. i want to listen and absorb weight as it drips off the heart and tongue of someone who's been heavy with grief and loneliness for far too long.
today, i just want to love by being. that's all.
so i thought i would share.
prepare me to love. open my heart to your desires and your ways. empty me of my needs and my wants and fill me with yours. give me eyes to see hearts heavy with bondage and give me courage to shine light in dark places.
