Yikes, it's 2013. How did that happen? I know it's cliche to say, but it's so true: it seems like the older I get, the faster time passes. And I don't like it. Not one bit. Along with everyone and his or her brother, I've been doing some reflecting over the last year or so. So much happened in 2012. Some things I will treasure forever; others I'd rather just forget.
A few highlights from 2012...
NYC missions/ESL classes, CAMP 2012, OGM Mission Conference in Ecuador, visiting the Equator, Stone family vacay to South Carolina, taking a teaching job, and surviving my first semester of teaching.
As I've looked ahead to 2013 and tried to begin setting my goals, I've hit a brick wall of sorts. I keep trying to figure out things I'd like to do or marks I'd like to reach, but none of it is really doing it for me. There isn't anything that I really want to DO in 2013, at least nothing I can put my finger on. So instead of focusing on what I'd like to do, I've decided to set some goals for who I want to BE, and then let those aspirations mold and shape my actions.
I once had a friend that consistently reminded me, "Jessica, we are called 'human beings' and not 'human doings' for a reason." She so well knew my tendencies for striving, and not just striving, but striving for perfection in all that I do. That can be a lot of pressure, especially when it's self-imposed. So, this year, instead of putting together a list of things I may or may not do and then feel discouraged about later, I'm going to focus my energy on who I'm becoming.
I'm wrestling deeply with the question, "What kind of person do I want to be?"
And here are my answers so far:
1. I want to be generous--with my time, money, gifts, energy, love, patience.
2. I want to be fit and healthy.
3. I want to be a person of integrity.
4. I want to be filled with joy.
5. I want to be a person that knows God deeply and follows Him fully, no matter the cost.
6. I want be full of compassion and empty of judgment.
7. I want to be truthful and transparent in the way I live.
8. I want to be confident.
9. I want to be obedient.
10. I want to be strong.
11. I want to be a person who values the input of others, but that does not waver in what I know to be true.
12. I want to be a person that values others more than myself.
13. I want to be a person that prays, diligently and deeply.
14. I want to be a person that trusts, even when there's no reason to.
15. I want to be bold, not backing down from a challenge or obstacle.
16. I want to have faith, faith that can move mountains, faith that can bridge the gap.
17. I want to be respectful, regardless of my opinions and assessments of others.
18. I want to be a giver, not a taker.
19. I want to be free, not caught up in superficial or legalistic limitations, but free to worship, free to love.
20. I want to be a kind person, one that takes the time to show love and goodness through a simple act.
21. I want to be a fighter, standing strong for what I believe and for those that I love.
22. I want to be a pianist again.
23. I want to be an encourager, not a naysayer or a Debbie Downer.
24. I want to be creative.
25. I want to be a problem-solver, not a problem-creator.
26. I want to be a lover.
27. I want to be loyal. Period. End of story.
28. I want to be gracious, allowing others the freedom to be and become, without penalty.
And what about you, who is it that you want to be? Before you decide what it is you want to do, would you consider what you want to be? Would you let that then motivate and inspire you, let who you are and who you're becoming be the driving force behind your actions, and not the other way around? Be brave.
Happy 2013 to you!
