My First Monday at 29 + An Attitude Shift

Well, it's my birthday.  And I feel like that means I should probably blog or something.

To be honest, it hasn't been the greatest day.  What I'm about to tell you is in no way intended to bring about pity or sympathy, but rather to provide a dose of realism and maybe a chuckle or two.

So, let's recap this first day of 29...

-It's a Monday.  Enough said.
-There's a crazy weather situation happening here.  Like cold front meets warm front meets cold front again.  Crazy weather situations mean crazy sinus situations.  Bleh.
-I woke up with a HUGE zit on my forehead.  I wish I was being dramatic.  I've had an ice pack on my face for a good portion of the afternoon.  It would seem that my body has gotten confused about my age and thinks that somehow I need to experience symptoms of adolescence randomly.  Note to body:  I do NOT need those experiences.  
-I came home from work sick.  I'll spare you the details.  As much as I value transparency, some details are still just too much to share.
-Right now, I'm supposed to be at an Army FRG meeting. Not the most idyllic place to spend my birthday evening, but given the choice between being sick and attending an FRG meeting, I'd still choose the FRG.
-Since I'm not at the FRG meeting, that means I'm home alone.  Just because I stayed home sick doesn't mean husband does.  Boo.
-In the midst of me feeling sorry for myself, my dog decided to get sick. Multiple times.  All over the laundry room floor, starting in his kennel first (which he went into by choice, strangely enough).  Poor guy.

I'm frustrated, tired, emotional, and ready for the day to be over.  At multiple points today, I've let myself throw a pity party.  It's been really easy to see the negatives today, to feel overwhelmed and moody.  In the midst of the unpleasantness today, I've been reminded of a couple of valuable truths:

     1.  God is good.
            No matter what.  Period.  End of story.  Even when I don't feel like He is good, He is still good.  He still loves me, pursues me, protects me, provides for me... He is good.

     2.  Things could be so much worse.
            I'm not even going to begin listing the things that comprise the "so much worse" list.

     3.  It's not about me.
            When things don't go my way--particularly personal things like sick days, gargantuan zits, and barfy dogs--it's not necessarily an attack on me personally.  Maybe there was something I would've stood in the way of at work this afternoon.  Maybe I needed a reminder that my flesh isn't my identity or my worth.  Maybe the Lord needed to get me home alone to remind me of His goodness.  Maybe I needed a less-than-stellar day so that all of the friends and family that have showered me with birthday wishes today would be so much more obvious and meaningful to me.  Maybe there's something that the Lord is doing that's bigger and greater than my human eyes can see.  Maybe my birthday shouldn't really be about me, the receiver of life, but rather should serve as an opportunity to recognize the Giver of life.

These three truths tie perfectly together and, if I let them, cause a change of attitude from grief to gratitude.  If I let them.  I have to choose what I focus on.  I have to choose my perspective, which in turn, affects my attitude.

Tonight, I'm choosing to let Truth change my attitude.  Maybe you had a similar Monday.  Or maybe your situation is more like a string of similar Mondays all put together.  And maybe, like me, you just needed a reminder of a few positive truths.  Will you choose to let them--to let Him--change your attitude?

Be encouraged, friend.  There's still hope.  God is still good.

A year in TN + Faithfulness

As of today, it's been exactly one year since I moved to Tennessee.  (Sometimes it feels like I've lived here my whole life, but other times it seems like I'm still settling in.)  Regardless, it's be a whole year.  That's one year since I took the biggest leap I could've imagined.  One year since I left two perfectly good jobs, a comfortable home, an ideal roommate, many close friends, my family, my church family, my favorite coffee shops and shopping stops, and basically everything else familiar.  I left it with no exact knowledge or outline of how things would unfold.  I left for a place where I knew no one--literally, I knew NO ONE since my husband-to-be hadn't even moved to town yet.  I had no job, no prospect of a job, no church home, no friends, no safety net, no clearly defined plan or map to follow...

And look where I am now.

I'm married to a man I couldn't have even dreamed into reality.  I have a great job teaching middle school students.  We belong to a really passionate, inviting, Gospel-sharing church.  I'm making friends.  I know my way around town, or at least to the important places:  Panera, Target, Food Lion, a natural foods store, and Nashville.

My point is this:  God is faithful, and in His faithfulness He is good.

This morning, I was reading Philippians 4.  One verse in particular nearly jumped off the page at me:

"My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory."  Philippians 4:19

Today, of all days, I feel like I am only beginning to learn to trust the Lord.  I've been walking with Him  (or doing my best anyway) for as long as I can remember, yet trust still doesn't always--or even usually--come naturally.  I forget that He is faithful; I forget that He is good.

But He is faithful.  He is good.

I would be lying if I said the last year has been a breeze.  There have been plenty of curves and bumps in the road.  There have been plenty of times when I've shaken my head and thrown a fit out of frustration, out of lack of understanding, out of lack of a plan.  But the truth is that there has been a plan all along.  The Lord has always had a plan; He's always known.

And He still knows.  It's all still unfolding and it's all being held in His hand.  That's such a great reason to trust.  Such a great comfort, such a deep sigh of relief, such a strong spring board for moving forward and trusting for the next step, whatever that may be.

Much is on my heart.  Tomorrow, school starts, and with that comes a whole bunch of new.  New students, new subjects, new lessons, new routines.  Sometime, my husband will deploy.  I'm not sure I really even know how to organize that in my heart/head yet, but it will come eventually.  There are plenty of unknowns, plenty of reasons to freak out.  But there are also plenty of reasons to trust, the best being that He is faithful.  I'm looking back on the last year in gratitude, humbled by the realization that the Lord still hasn't given up on me, but rather, He continually chooses to supply my need, according to His riches and His love and His grace, not mine.  So I will continue to learn to trust, more fully and more freely.

Here's to the next year, whatever the plan and the Planner holds.