As of today, it's been exactly one year since I moved to Tennessee. (Sometimes it feels like I've lived here my whole life, but other times it seems like I'm still settling in.) Regardless, it's be a whole year. That's one year since I took the biggest leap I could've imagined. One year since I left two perfectly good jobs, a comfortable home, an ideal roommate, many close friends, my family, my church family, my favorite coffee shops and shopping stops, and basically everything else familiar. I left it with no exact knowledge or outline of how things would unfold. I left for a place where I knew no one--literally, I knew NO ONE since my husband-to-be hadn't even moved to town yet. I had no job, no prospect of a job, no church home, no friends, no safety net, no clearly defined plan or map to follow...
And look where I am now.
I'm married to a man I couldn't have even dreamed into reality. I have a great job teaching middle school students. We belong to a really passionate, inviting, Gospel-sharing church. I'm making friends. I know my way around town, or at least to the important places: Panera, Target, Food Lion, a natural foods store, and Nashville.
My point is this: God is faithful, and in His faithfulness He is good.
This morning, I was reading Philippians 4. One verse in particular nearly jumped off the page at me:
"My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory." Philippians 4:19
Today, of all days, I feel like I am only beginning to learn to trust the Lord. I've been walking with Him (or doing my best anyway) for as long as I can remember, yet trust still doesn't always--or even usually--come naturally. I forget that He is faithful; I forget that He is good.
But He is faithful. He is good.
I would be lying if I said the last year has been a breeze. There have been plenty of curves and bumps in the road. There have been plenty of times when I've shaken my head and thrown a fit out of frustration, out of lack of understanding, out of lack of a plan. But the truth is that there has been a plan all along. The Lord has always had a plan; He's always known.
And He still knows. It's all still unfolding and it's all being held in His hand. That's such a great reason to trust. Such a great comfort, such a deep sigh of relief, such a strong spring board for moving forward and trusting for the next step, whatever that may be.
Much is on my heart. Tomorrow, school starts, and with that comes a whole bunch of new. New students, new subjects, new lessons, new routines. Sometime, my husband will deploy. I'm not sure I really even know how to organize that in my heart/head yet, but it will come eventually. There are plenty of unknowns, plenty of reasons to freak out. But there are also plenty of reasons to trust, the best being that He is faithful. I'm looking back on the last year in gratitude, humbled by the realization that the Lord still hasn't given up on me, but rather, He continually chooses to supply my need, according to His riches and His love and His grace, not mine. So I will continue to learn to trust, more fully and more freely.
Here's to the next year, whatever the plan and the Planner holds.
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