21 years ago today

...my existence as an only child completely shattered.  Yep, that's right:  my sister was born.  And today she turns 21.  Holy moley, where has the time gone?!  Since this is her big day, I thought I'd dedicate a blog post to her.  I'm sure she'll be so thrilled. (HA!)  :)

My sister is definitely one of my favorite people.  Let's be honest, I don't say that about a lot of people.  And if I'm being even more honest, she might just be my favorite person.  Yes, I'm seeping total sister sap.

From her beauty, to her poise, to her persistence, my sister is someone I maintain utmost respect for.  Despite the fact that we couldn't be more different in a some ways, she is someone I admire so much.  No matter the cost, my sister stands her ground.  When other people pressure her to sway, sway she does not.  Simply said, she is who she is, no matter the crowd.

Growing up, there was rarely a dull moment as long as my sister was around.  Between babysitting kids running around, me throwing an emotional teenage tyrade, and dad cheering heart and soul for losing teams, my sister has always provided a source of laughter.  Barbie photo shoots.  Steve Urkel impressions.  Imaginary friend phone calls, sleepovers, and Dairy Queen trips.  She's never been shy and she's never hesitated to put herself on the line in the name of comedy.

We've had some crazy times together, and I know we'll have plenty more.  We've fought and screamed and exchanged our share of hurtful words.  We've also laughed and shared secrets that we don't share with others.  Ever.  If I know anything, I know that nothing will change our relationship.

Happy 21, LA.  I'm really proud to call you my sister.

learning to listen

I love getting new music.  LOVE it.  But I'm not always so great at seeking out new jams.  Therefore, I thoroughly appreciate the fact that the guys I work with are nearly constantly playing new tunes.  Today my boss shared Bethel's newest album with me in preparation for a roadtrip that I ended up not endeavoring...

I had planned to take off for good ol' Nebraska this afternoon with my mom for a quick trip to visit Grandma.  And take off we did.  However, my digestive system seemed to have other plans, and thus I did not last long at all on the road.  In all honesty, I made it to the McDonald's not even 2 miles from my house, at which point I realized I had no business attempting a 6 hour car ride today.  I was feeling overly stressed about making the trek and I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that I was making the wrong choice. From the moment my mom mentioned the idea to me a couple of weeks ago, I knew I shouldn't go, but I let my desire and logic win and proceeded accordingly.  Over the last couple of weeks, I've sensed the Lord calling to me, inviting me to Himself.

And what have I done?

Nothing.  Well, actually, that's a lie.  I've done the opposite of nothing.  I've continued about scurrying here and there, working, meeting with students, running errands, painting cabinet doors, fitting in extra workouts, cooking unnecessarily...

...and NOT meeting with the Lord.

Confession:  I have a listening problem.

It took the wrath of some wicked stomach pains for me to finally listen to--not just hear--the Lord.

"Come away."

And so this afternoon, I snuggled into my bed, opened my window, and just breathed in the presence of the Lord, just listened to Him.  No TV.  No music.  No distractions.  It was exactly what I needed.

I'm learning to listen.  He knows exactly what I need, and He tells us, if we'll only listen.  And speaking of listening... That music that Nate shared with me earlier today made its way onto my iPod and into my ears and heart this evening.  I really can't even begin to express how life-changing the lyrics on this album are.  You should definitely check it out.  Also, you should listen.  Take time today to stop and allow the Lord to quiet you.  In that quiet, see what He has, what He says.  I promise you won't be disappointed.

Listen to this message, friends, and come to Him.

once again

I find myself feeling remorseful over my lack of blogging of late.  As seems to be the trend lately, it's not that I have nothing to say, it just seems that I don't have the words to say it.  In fact, I'm not really sure why I'm writing currently, other than the fact that I had the urge to at least get some words on the screen.

So, here I am...  attempting to blog.

And failing...ha.

I guess I could update you on my current situation in life.

It seems I've hit my midlife brain breakdown rather early in life.  I've been forgetting/losing/misplacing things left and right lately.  Seriously, that's not okay for an OCDer like myself.  I find it rather difficult to rest at night when I have loose ends left untied.  Example:  my glasses.  I set them down at church on Sunday afternoon, but I can't remember where.  And I can't find them anywhere.  Nor has anyone on staff, any of our students, or any of the cleaning crew stumbled upon them.

All of this leads me to believe one thing:  there is a mouse out there looking quite intelligent and studious in my specs.

Thankfully, I had just visited the optometrist last Friday and ordered a new pair of frames.  Then Sunday happened... Can we say ironic?  Gratefully, my new glasses arrived yesterday and I am so so so loving them!

Let me take a minute to draw a spiritual application from this situation.

For some reason, the Lord seems to use lesson after lesson in my life to show me His faithfulness.  The glasses situation is yet another reminder that He is faithful and He is in control.  People say that God doesn't care about the details, the little things--that He has way bigger things to worry about; but I refuse to give into that idea.  I KNOW, based on irrefutable evidence time and time again in my own life, that He does care.  That even the "silly little things" are not out of His reach, nor His focus.

This week, a friend reminded me of an entirely necessary passage.
1 Peter 5:6-7 says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you."

It's my understanding that God's care doesn't just stop after the cut off of "big things"--illness, financial issues, family stress, death, etc.  Rather than specifying these things, Scripture says, "He cares for YOU."  I find such comfort in that.  I will definitely attest to the humbling that is mentioned in the first part of verse 6.  Feeling like I'm losing my mind definitely has a way of humbling me.  But that's exactly the point.  When I get to the spot of being humbled, and understanding that I can't find it/figure it out/make it happen, that's when I finally cry out to the Lord.  And He's right there, ready to take my junk and show His care for me.

That is amazing grace, my friends.  And that is a small taste of what I've been experiencing lately, even in the midst of losing my mind.

He cares.
And He is faithful.

May you experience His care and faithfulness today.

hair and relationships

So my friend Lindsay texted me last night, asking if I could help with some wedding hair today.  And of course I said yes.  Really, who's gonna say no at a chance to play beauty salon?!   Seriously, it was so much fun!  The girls were great to work with and the bride was so laid back.  All beauties.

As I was pinning one girl's hair, we started talking about the correlation between hair and relationships.  First it was accidental.  Here's how our conversation transpired (more or less):

Me:  "So what are we thinking style-wise?"

Emily:  "I don't really care.  Just something laid back and loose."

Me:  "Ok, I'm thinking...[whilst pinning]I want you to come over here...There we go." 

Emily:  "What?  Oh I thought you were saying that was the hairstyle we were going for."

And so we began talking about various styles of hair and their messages.

Ahem..without further a-'do, our hairstyle communication
The "I want you to come over here" style.
      Loosely pinned up with delicate and unpretentious wisps pulled down around the face.

The "Please stay" style.
      Similar to the "I want you to come over here" style, only including some sort of twirling of the hair around
      the fingers.

The "I want you to stay there" style.
      Hair is tightly pulled back, either all up, or half-up, causing tension through the brow and temple, creating
      a tense, unwelcoming look.

The "I really hate what you're doing right now" style.
      Much like the "I want you to stay there" style, but somewhere along the way, a hair flip is completed,
      perhaps in conjunction with an eye roll.

The "I am completely oblivious to anyone around me...or at least I want you to think that" style.
      Hair is down and tousled or up in a messy-ish bun.   Totally unassuming appearing.

And there ya have it.  Communication through hairstyles.  Now that I know it's so easy, I'm going to begin communicating this way.  Be aware.  Also, I'm sure there are many, many more styles that could clearly and accurately convey specific messages; however, my creativity is exhausted at this point.

And so I'll close with some pics from my hairstyling escapade today.  Enjoy.

The lovely bridesmaids

Their hairs

Lindsay, me, Amber.  I'm lacking an LBD ;)

   
     

holiday recap

This holiday season was probably one of my favorite in recent history.  Our family established some new traditions and shared way too many laughs together along the way.  (Is that actually possible, to laugh too much?  Hmm..)  We stayed in town for Christmas Eve and Christmas day, hitting up our Christmas Eve service at church, followed by the Stone family extended family gathering out in Sparta. Christmas day was full of cooking breakfast together, opening gifts, and then heading over to our Aunt and Uncle's house for a glorious Christmas feast and lots of family game time.  Also, the weather was INCREDIBLE!  I can't remember a Christmas that we've enjoyed dinner outside on the deck.  Crazy, but so beautiful!

Two days after Christmas we headed to Nebraska to spend time with my mom's family.  Seriously, this was probably one of my favorite trips to the Neb.  My sis and I roadtripped separately from our parents, which allowed us a lot of freedom in visiting with cousins, Grandma, etc.  SO MUCH FUN.  Then after returning from the Neb, the kitchen remodel fell into full force.  Whoa.  Lots going on for sure.

Needless to say, it was a busy holiday break, but I honestly enjoyed it thoroughly, which I can't always say.  Normally breaking out of my routine isn't always at the top of my list.  Type A much?  :)  This time, however, it was pretty refreshing.

Some photos from the holidays...

Christmas Eve

Mom & Pops on Christmas

FAVE Christmas gift:  Keen boots.

coping with chaos

I can’t believe the holidays have come and gone already.  And it’s 2012?!  When did that happen?  Sheesh.

To begin the year, we decided to refinish our kitchen cabinets.  So excited for the update; however, not so excited about the current chaotic state of our kitchen and adjacent areas.

Here’s proof of the current chaos:

Our office currently holds all of our kitchen ware and pantry contents.
Yikes.

This afternoon I met with a wonderfully wise friend for coffee.  I so needed our time together.  We shared about our current life situations, spiritually, emotionally, job-wise…etc.  What I love so much about this friend is her complete and total honesty and acceptance.  She’s one of those that I can set a bomb off in front of and she doesn’t bat an eye, but merely shrugs her shoulders and says, “Well all right, sister,” and helps me examine the pieces.  I seem to be blessed with several friends like that; apparently the Lord knows I’m good at dropping bombs.

My latest bomb:  feeling in a rut of sorts in my relationship with the Lord.  It’s one of those times that I know I should be pursuing Him regularly, but I also know my heart isn’t completely in it.  And I don’t like that.  I don’t want to seek Him merely out of obligation or duty; I want to seek Him because I WANT to seek Him.   It so bothers me to know that my heart isn’t where it should be, isn’t where I want it to be.  Overall, it feels like chaos in my soul.  And that wears on me.

So we were discussing this current situation and the desire to jump into the cycle of spiritual growth, yet not knowing exactly where/how to begin.  It was then that my lovely friend shared some advice I found to be so wise.  She explained that when she encounters those situations of not knowing where to begin or what to do next, she goes back to the last thing the Lord told her to do, the last thing she discerned Him saying.

It didn’t take me long at all to remember the last thing I heard Him say.  It’s the same thing He’s been saying for quite awhile now:  “Wait.”

“Wait.”

Four simple letters that drive this girl crazy.  But if that’s what He’s said, then that’s what I’ll do.  Despite the internal chaos I feel and despite the fact that I often have no idea what waiting looks like, what I’m waiting for, or how long I’m to wait, I will wait.  Period.  Again, my friend interjected some valuable advice.  In the midst of this chaos, perhaps the Lord is merely asking me to trust Him.  It seems easy to trust when things are clearly outlined, when answers are easy to come by; but in the obscure, in the unknown, in the undetermined, that’s when trusting is difficult.  But perhaps that’s when it counts the most.

And so I’ll wait…until I’m given different instructions.  And I’ll make the most of this chaos in the meantime.

dreamers and dream doers

It's the eve before Christmas Eve, and I'm enjoying a nice cup of peppermint hot cocoa, a good book (obviously not at this very moment), and a quiet house.  This week has gone a little differently than I had planned.  I wound up feeling super sick Tuesday night, which turned into being super sick Wednesday and Thursday.  What a start to Christmas break... Anyway, I'm highly optimistic that the next two days will be grand, and that I WILL feel better.  Optimism.

Enough mumbo jumbo; let's get down to brass tacks, shall we? A great and wise friend of mine recently sent me a copy of a book called, "The Alchemist."  I'm not too terribly far into it yet, but I am far enough to know that it's going to be a thinker of a book for me.  And I need that.  Tonight I read a bit as I attempted to sweat out my fever on the bike.  I won't recap the entire chapter, but I'm compelled to paint a brief picture for you.

Two characters emerge:  one, an old merchant/shopkeeper, the other a young shepherd on a quest to follow his dreams.  The old merchant has owned his crystal shop for thirty years, working hard to make his fortune and find success in his village.  The young boy has just sold his flock after a prompting from an old wise man, who encouraged him to follow his dream of seeking the pyramids, no matter the cost.  Crossing the desert would be perilous, tiring, and cost the young boy nearly everything; but his heart is determined to accomplish his dream of reaching the pyramids.  After some prompting from the young shepherd, the old merchant divulges his dream of completing a pilgrimage to Mecca.  He confides in the boy that he opened his shop with the intentions of compiling a fortune large enough to send him comfortably on his journey.  Yet with each passing year, the aging merchant continued to push aside his dream, just outside his grasp, with excuse after excuse.  At one point, the shepherd boy challenges the shopkeeper.

"Well, why don't you go to Mecca now?"  asked the boy.


"Because it's the thought of Mecca that keeps me alive.  That's what helps me face these days that are    all the same.... I'm afraid that if my dream is realized, I'll have no reason to go on living.  You dream about your sheep and the Pyramids, but you're different from me because you want to realize your dreams.  I just want to dream about Mecca. ...I'm afraid that it would all be a disappointment, so I prefer just to dream about it." 

The old merchant's response is so poignant to me.  His fear completely paralyzed him and prevented him from realizing his dream.  Not only that, but his fear changed his personality; it branded him simply a dreamer rather than a dream doer.

And this all got me thinking:  which am I?  Am I simply a dreamer?  Or am I actually realizing dreams?  I'm not so sure that I'm okay with settling for simply dreaming.  I'm not so sure that my soul can actually rest if I fail to at least pursue the realization of dreams.  I don't think that God places dreams in our hearts simply to taunt us with what could be;  something about His character tells me He places dreams in our hearts to be pursued and realized, if only we will trust Him enough to do so.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."   Proverbs 3:5-6

As many times as I've heard/read this verse, it's finally beginning to make more sense to me.  So what about you?  Are you content to just dream, or are you committed to pursuing the realization of the dreams that the Lord has placed in your heart?  I dare you not to settle.

And that's all I've got for you tonight, fine blogging buddies.  Rest well and enjoy this season of celebration.

A Merriest Christmas to you!